Sports Editor
And so it comes, the beginning of a fresh new school year. My favorite day of the year is upon us: Syllabus Day.
A day we'll learn the obligatory essentials. We'll find out attendance is required, plagiarism is prohibited and get a list of books that we're about to get so overcharged it's laughable. Oh, and that book that you just shelled out 130 bucks for in August, is surprisingly, only worth 12 dollars in December. They literally should have security guards escort me out of the book store that day when the lady explains that they're using a new edition next semester.
Now, do me a favor and listen to the number one classroom rule: TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE. It's just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you when the new Young Jeezy single is blaring from your backpack.
The professor will read the class bible to us, for some odd reason that we some how managed to get into college without reading skills. And in some classes, we'll even get to go through the whole class roster while the teacher butchers every last name.
And who doesn't love when the professor asks if you prefer to be called by another name to let them know. I mean, like it will really break Pat's heart, if he is called by the name on his birth certificate, Patrick. No, in all seriousness, I've always wanted to let them know my name is Ryan, but I prefer Francis Carmichael III.
Oh, and who could forget the greatest part of syllabus day. All the red-blooded, heterosexual males, like myself, scope out the room for the smoking hot girls. We'll try to sit next to them on that second day - just in case for some odd reason we have to learn CPR in Spanish class and we're partnered with the person sitting next to us.
A little tip to all you fellas out there: get a good look, because that same cutie all dressed up, will more than likely be in sweats and an oversized hoody in three weeks till finals.
The professor is about to give the easiest assignment all term: "Alright, I'd like you all to say your name, where you're from and what your major is."
This is after of course they say a little about themselves. And please, I'd like all professors to do this. I've actually had some who just start lecturing without giving us a little insight on what makes them different than Hank, who works the third shift over at Speedway.
But regardless, syllabus day marks a fresh clean slate for the upcoming semester. And smile, because we're all pullin' straight A's.
A day we'll learn the obligatory essentials. We'll find out attendance is required, plagiarism is prohibited and get a list of books that we're about to get so overcharged it's laughable. Oh, and that book that you just shelled out 130 bucks for in August, is surprisingly, only worth 12 dollars in December. They literally should have security guards escort me out of the book store that day when the lady explains that they're using a new edition next semester.
Now, do me a favor and listen to the number one classroom rule: TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE. It's just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you when the new Young Jeezy single is blaring from your backpack.
The professor will read the class bible to us, for some odd reason that we some how managed to get into college without reading skills. And in some classes, we'll even get to go through the whole class roster while the teacher butchers every last name.
And who doesn't love when the professor asks if you prefer to be called by another name to let them know. I mean, like it will really break Pat's heart, if he is called by the name on his birth certificate, Patrick. No, in all seriousness, I've always wanted to let them know my name is Ryan, but I prefer Francis Carmichael III.
Oh, and who could forget the greatest part of syllabus day. All the red-blooded, heterosexual males, like myself, scope out the room for the smoking hot girls. We'll try to sit next to them on that second day - just in case for some odd reason we have to learn CPR in Spanish class and we're partnered with the person sitting next to us.
A little tip to all you fellas out there: get a good look, because that same cutie all dressed up, will more than likely be in sweats and an oversized hoody in three weeks till finals.
The professor is about to give the easiest assignment all term: "Alright, I'd like you all to say your name, where you're from and what your major is."
This is after of course they say a little about themselves. And please, I'd like all professors to do this. I've actually had some who just start lecturing without giving us a little insight on what makes them different than Hank, who works the third shift over at Speedway.
But regardless, syllabus day marks a fresh clean slate for the upcoming semester. And smile, because we're all pullin' straight A's.
Published in the PUC Chronicle on Aug. 25, 2008
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